on the road less travelled in Ireland and france

Diary excerpts from a diary by Conal Healy detailing a planned holiday in France to be taken with his partner Fran Silk.

January 1, 2023: Fran wakes up on New Year’s Day and realises: “We are going to France THIS year!”.

Fran has been working hard all week on Duolingo. She has been at the top of the Obsidian League many times. As the Sunday night promotion deadline approaches Fran is beaten out of the top stop by another player. I suggest it wasn’t another player, but is actually a bot.

Fran (after research) decides the other player was replaying older levels to boost their scores. Fran has a podium finish (second) and moved into the Diamond League.

Say it in French: By the first week of January, Fran and I have booked Airbnb for most of the French holiday. We have been knocked back from a few places. Fran suspects the initial enquiry (in English) (and mentions they are Australian) could be the problem. We are going to France during the final rounds of the Rugby World Cup. France is playing host. Maybe some hosts think we are Rugby Louts? We have booked places, been told the rooms weren’t available for our dates … and find them re-advertised a few days later as available for the dates we asked for. Very curious.

I draft a note saying that I am Irish with an EU passport (Fran was born in Australia) and then Google Translates it into French. This is sent as the initial enquiry/booking message to a host… And it has been a success.

January 2, 2023: Fran is looking forward to eating pasta in Italy, after discovering the country was only a 40 minute drive from the Airbnb in Sallanches (France) using the Mt Blanc tunnel.

January 7, 2023: Fran opts for the France Experience in Reims. We are booked into an art deco apartment overlooking the gargentious Reims cathedral, for two nights. It is expensive, $200 a night … But there is free parking.

January 8, 2023: I discover a “hole” in the travel itinerary. They have missed out a night between Dijon and Reims. Not a problem, discover and old city to explore. Troyes is added to the itinerary.

January 14, 2023: Fran is concerned about the possibility of rain in Paris in October/November… Because Dulingo keeps telling her to learn words for rain. And England is a place where it always rains too.

January 20, 2023: I make an appointment with Flight Centre to book a hire car for the month in France. The accommodation for Rouen and a return to Paris is still to be booked. (The accommodation in Ireland is still to be worked out.)

January 22, 2023: On a summer’s morning on a romantic weekend away in the Border Ranges Fran hits her 100 day Duolingo streak. It was also the day she was disappointingly demoted from the Diamond League, back to the Obsidian League.

Fran selects accommodation in Rouen and – after much frustration – a hotel to stay in for a return to Paris after our weeks on the road in France.

January 23, 2023: Fran discovers that the Diamond League in Duolingo is the highest of highest league. It’s only for serious players. There is nowhere else to go.

January 24, 2023: We have finalised our accommodation in France. We have Airbnbs booked for Paris, St Malo, Nantes, Tours, Limosine, Claremont-Ferrand, Grenoble, Sallanches, Dijon, Troyes, Reims, Rouen and a hotel in Paris. Our last weekend in the French capital will allow us to see the first Christmas markets of the season.

February 24, 2023: In the middle of a rain storm in Australia, Fran shows off her language skills by singing the Tina Turner hit “I Can’t Stand the Rain” … in French.

March 5, 2023: The bookings for the Big Holiday Escape is almost complete. Plane fares are booked and paid for, accommodation is booked, cars are hired and/or reserved. The only thing that needs to be done is to book the walking tour of Versailles. Once that has been done, all holiday fund will have been drained. Now to build it up to have spending money.

March 6, 2023: Fran discovers on Day 143 on Duolingo that she has been demoted to the Pearl League. She greets this news with swear words.
Fran is frustrated by Dulingo, “I have been broadening my knowledge of French, rather than deepening it. (Pauses) That describes me over the past few years” she reflected with a laugh.

March 19, 2023: Fran is promoted back to the Obsidian League. Earlier that day, while shopping in the local Aldi store Fran heard people conversing on French… And understood part of their conversation. She is very proud.

March 20, 2023: Fran reaches Duolingo Zenness. “There are many Diamond Leagues”. She is happy to be in the Obsidian League. In the Diamond League (the top level) there are teams of people playing as one, there are bots and people buying pole positions. She is on a Day 157 streak.

April 2023: The holiday season to France is now sitting on the back burner, or is now in the slow cooker…or in the fridge ready to be warmed up.  Fran is on 180 day Dulingo streak. We have lost our Holiday Mojo. I can’t imagine them ever getting there. There is no excitement. (The last few weeks have been interesting – lots of stuff happening. Not conducive to happy holiday thoughts).

April 22, 2023: Fran hits her 190 day streak on Duolingo. I am receiving notifications about flea markets around Clermont Ferrand, in the Auvergne.

June 4, 2023: Airbnb is tell Fran and myself that they will be in Ireland and France in four months.  All the planning and research was done last year. “It feels like we have already had our holiday” remarks Fran. I am enjoying the fact I will experience two autumns in 2023 – in Australia and Europe.

June 24, 2023: Fran hit day 250 on Duolingo. I pick up – for $1- a Michelin guide book to Limosine.

July 2, 2023: It is the fifth night of rioting in France. The French police killed a teenager in Paris during the week. Most of the rioters are young teenagers.
I am not concerned – rioters rarely take to the streets of France in late autumn. As a child of the Irish Troubles, I am used to civil unrest.

In less than 100 days we will be in Ireland.

Conal is thinking of an Instagram tag for the trip – #dublintodijon or #rathminestorouen. The last travel tag was #murbstomayo, when Fran heard #dublintodijon she said: “Why do the tags sound like trips to condiments?”

July 22, 2023: Conal buys a 2008 Lonely Planet french phrase book. It has some interesting phrases. (Photos)

July 13, 2023: I have finished mapping out our road routes across France. I’ve noted the routes where there are tolls and there are no tolls. I suspect the cost of tolls will be as much as the hire car. There will be some day – for the sake of time – we might have to drop our “take the back roads” plan and opt for the motorway.

I am wondering if – after three weeks in France – will Fran and I be tired of quait villages? Oh, it’s another Gothic cathedral. Another medieval castle? Must we?

By the last week of November, when he days are getting shorter, will we be suffering from travel fatigue?

Will we get to experience a Northern Hemisphere Christmas atmosphere? What will we think of the touch of winter – cold days, colder nights, short days and long nights?

Or will we be thinking of the warms days at home in Australia and wishing to feel the sun on our faces?

July 22, 2023: Conal buys a 2008 Lonely Planet French phrase book. It has some interesting phrases that I have not encountered in a phrase book before: “C’est uniquement pour mon usage personnel” (This drug is for personal use”) “Je suis defonce” (“I’m high”).

August 1, 2023: The big map of France is just about cover the dining table in the front room. There is too much detail. It is almost overpowering. In fact, it is overpowering. Luckily there simplified routes on Google Maps and Michelin.

August 2, 2023: The day Fran translated (and sang) in French, Bonnie Tyler’s hit song “Lost in France”. Thank you Duolingo!

August 10, 2023: With France looming in three months, Fran passes the 300 Day Learning Streak on Duolingo. Fran has earned 8050 gems. Flight Centre provide an updated Travel Itinerary. Fran and I are going to Europe in 59 days. It is summer in France, Grenoble is sitting on 35 degrees during the daytime. I am wondering if there will be snow on the Alps when we get there in November?

September 1, 2023: Fran gets her International Drivers Licence. She can now drive in France and Ireland.

September 3, 2023: How much clothes to we bring? I am only packing a minimum. There will be a rolled up duffle bag in my suitcase, I know there will be bargains to get on our travels. The last time Fran flew back from Paris she wrote a list of Only Essentials. “I’m going to pack light … I will be buying stuff over there” she tells me.

September 6, 2023: Fran is at the hairdressers, she will have one more visit before going overseas. I have been to the barber today. It looks like I will need a trip to a barber in France. I wonder if I can say Trois and point to my hair and Du for my beard. People at Frans work are giving her photo suggestions for Paris.

September 10, 2023: I purchase a small jar of Vegemite for the trip to Europe. I am eager to see how Fran reacts to Vegemite on a freshly baked baguette in France.

September 11, 2023: The suit cases are pulled from storage. We are a month away from leaving for Europe but the two cases need to be emptied and cleaned. Their last outing was in 2019.

September 12, 2023: Last night Fran and I reviewed our plans for what we want to see in Paris. We had the guide books in front of us on the table. Fran looked at suggested itineraries and ticked off the places we had seen the last time we were in Paris.
“Don’t want to go to the Louvre, been to the Eiffel Tower, been to the D’Orsay, saw the Arc de Triomphe …” she recited. After 20 minutes we pushed away the books and decided to go to bed.
We do have things we want to see but we I will be exploring, getting lost and having fun.
Standing in a queue for hours is not our idea of seeing Paris. We have a list of hidden treasures in Paris … but we will look at them when we arrive in France. This is not a tick-box holiday.

September 28, 2023: Here in Murwillumbah, the days are starting earlier as spring unfurls. Dawn is at 5am. In Paris dawn is at 7.15am. Will we go to Europe to sleep?

September 30, 2023: Fran hits day 350 on Duolingo. The Guardian is reporting a scourge of bedbugs in Paris. The 10-day weather forecast for Dublin is suggesting our first day in Dublin with be showers 10-13d. Sunrise at 7.42am.

Friday, October 6, 2023: Fran does a first pack, then a second pack. I do office work downstairs. Then come up and pack my suitcase case. And carry-on. Set aside my flight clothes. Check the weather forecast for Ireland. Wander downtown to get a haircut and beard trim. Fran is getting a hair do. At the shops I grab some flight snacks.

Saturday, October 7, 2023: One more Sleep before we leave for Our Big Adventure – Dublin then France. I checked my email this morning fully expecting a late change/cancellation notice. There was none. Phew. Are we excited? A little bit. We check in for our first flight (to Sydney, then to Doha, then Dublin) in the afternoon.